the first semester of my last year is over, kinda unbelievable. it went by so fast, not that i'm complaining. but anyway, since this summer, i have learned a lot of things, some of which i would like to share:

1. weddings are freaking expensive, start saving up now, kiddies. seriously.

2. if you are trying to buy a sharp knife for carving, do not buy one that is a switchblade.

3. it is almost possible for me to have a single semester at cal during which i neither pull an all-nighter, nor fall asleep in class. almost. (this time, i pulled just one, and fell asleep once, same day).

4. twenty out of twenty-one uc regents suck, and so does yudof, and so does prop 13.

5. geoffrey of monmouth is a brown noser.

6. body conscious design has been the most useful class i have ever taken at cal.

7. high heels and 90-degree angle chairs are evil.

8. grad students can be pretty fun people to hang out with. especially the architecture ones with nicknames like "laser crack."

9. v-ray is much faster than maxwell, and less complicated, but not as cool.

10. group projects still suck.

11. all the co-ops i have been in so far are fun but disgusting.

12. building a chair out of hardwood was much harder than i expected.

13. making a shoe out of rubber and fabric was much easier than i expected.

14. peer advising is the easiest two units i ever earned. the only downside is that you have to say nice things about the college that you don't necessarily believe and/or have come to find out are not necessarily true.

15. french people are not weird, they are french.

16. landfill has a high risk of liquefaction.

17. its weird to realize that your little brother is now in college.

18. apparently, at least 15 people in this semester's cs198 with dan garcia have a twisted sense of humor and/or enjoy rabid squirrels

19. quicktime pro should be free, as should many things in this life that are not.

20. it is good to be reminded that God loves you no matter what you've done or will do.

to sum up these past twelve months, i would have to say, praise God, it has been the best year of my life so far. im really looking forward to next year, cause it just keeps gettin' better and better. i cannot believe how blessed i have been, to be able to have these experiences, both the good and the bad. i hope this next year brings you all peace and joy and love and hope :) 200 days...

retreat was pretty freaking awesome. so many many things to think about, then and since. there is what is, and what i know should be (and what is and what should never be ). but it is really hard to keep striving. trying to keep the end goal in mind.

this song came on pandora today. its way softer than what i generally listen to, but sometimes a good worship song is needed, even when you dislike it musically, you cant help but identify with it lyrically.

Who are we
That You would be mindful of us
What do You see
That’s worth looking our way

We are free
In ways that we never should be
Sweet release
From the grip of these chains

Like hinges straining from the weight
My heart no longer can keep from singing

All that is within me cries
For You alone be glorified
Emmanuel
God with us

My heart sings a brand new song
The debt is paid these chains are gone
Emmanuel
God with us

Lord You know
Our hearts don’t deserve Your glory
Still You show
A love we cannot afford

Like hinges straining from the weight
My heart no longer can keep from singing

Such a tiny offering compared to Calvary
Nevertheless we lay it at Your feet

-God With Us, MercyMe

why, God, do you love us? tiny offerings, insignificant. yet each and every one is worth something to the One who made us. imagine that. we do not deserve at all, His kindness or mercy or grace or love. but still, we get it. for free.

unconditional love is such a beautiful thing. receiving it from another person, when they know your absolute deepest darkest secrets, the things you were reluctant to confess to God Himself, yet they do not run away, nor revile you, but rather extend the blood of Christ over you, and God's love tangibly flows through them, that is something to be treasured, when you find it.

man, my sleep schedule is totally screwed up again, dangit...

"the three things any designer needs in order to be successful are curiosity, conviction, and obsession" - my studio instructor raveevarn choksombatchai

apparently, they also need to have no social life outside of wurster, no need for rest or food, and no other classes besides this one, because the workload is incredibly freaking ridiculous. so, im not going to be a successful designer i guess, not this year. unfortunately, i have to take and pass this class (and another one next semester) because its a requirement for the major, which means that i will a) most likely not be posting on xanga for a reallllly long time, b) try my best not to let this happen, but i might not get to hang out with people besides church and fellowship and small group, unless you come visit me (thanks to those that have already) and c) most likely look extremely tired when i do see you, and if i fall asleep around you, its (probably) not because i find you insufferably boring

i know that despite the fact that this next year looks like hell in terms of school, God is taking care of me in ways i cant even imagine. im still extremely blessed to be here, to have met the people that i have, and to know the ones that care about me, and i definitely thank God for that. and other than school, life is great